Duncan

Duncan is most well known for his saucy past relations with Jack. He is famously bad at Nidhogg, has crippling Smashbrosmosis (in which he thinks he has won smash bros but has not, and is a founding member of The Pentagon).

Early Life
Born in the tropical hills of Italy, Duncan and his family made their way illegally to England to seek a new life, after a brief time in Hollandaise. The sole thing that kept him going while on this pilgrimage was the stories he heard as a boy of a man so beautiful he outshone the sun.

Love Life
After a brief fling with Jack, he met his truest love - Ellen Curry. Their love was bright and powerful, and their frequent displays of PDA was second to none. This ultimately led to the foundation of The Pentagon, a powerful Illuminati-esque organisation controlling the worlld behind the scenes.

Highschool
Many incidents happened during Duncan's time in highschool, including the great battle of sticks (casualty: 1), the invention of the gluttony sandwich, the fairy liquid cake incident, and many many b-movies from cash converters. All of which deserve their own page.

After Highschool
who tf cares Jack isn't in this bit. Kristina happened, I think.